Raising a Child With ADHD: Must-Have Parenting Skills for ADHD
Raising a Child With ADHD: Must-Have Parenting Skills for ADHD
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is one of the most commonly diagnosed mental disorders among children. According to statistics, in 2022, in the United States alone, 7 million children aged 3 to 17 have ever been diagnosed with ADHD. Moreover, boys were diagnosed more often than girls, with a percentage of 15% to 8% correspondingly.
What can cause this disorder? How to identify it in your child? Read on to find answers to these questions and learn effective ADHD tips for parents to support your child!
What Is ADHD?
ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is a polymorphic clinical syndrome. Its main manifestations are the impaired ability to control and regulate the child's behavior reflected in motor hyperactivity, attention deficit disorder, and impulsivity. It is called polymorphic because you can’t find even two children with the same ADHD symptoms. This syndrome has many faces and a wide range of possible manifestations.
ADHD is caused by the structure and functioning of the brain, not by poor parenting or an allergic diet. The real cause is genetic factors (in most cases) or perinatal damage to the central nervous system. The symptoms may appear before the age of 12, and this disorder is long-lasting.
ADHD is a developmental disorder and parents can notice its manifestations from early childhood. These signs are ‘built-in’ to the child's temperament, and some social factors can impact the manifestations of ADHD. At the same time, features such as hyperactivity, impulsivity, and attention deficit disorder are expressed inappropriately for the child's age. These features lead to serious impairments in the child's functioning in key areas of life.
ADHD: How It Was First Diagnosed
In 1798, the Scottish physician Alexander Crichton noticed that some people were absent-minded and could not focus on their activities as well as others. He reported that these symptoms appear at an early age.
In 1902, Sir George Frederick Still described mental disorders in healthy children with normal intelligence. These children were more impulsive and had problems with attention and self-control. Mr. Still has documented 15 cases in boys and 5 in girls. It coincides with current statistics that boys are diagnosed with ADHD more often than girls.
Biological factors, social stereotypes, and diagnostic approaches cause the difference between boys and girls. Girls can be underestimated in diagnosis because their symptoms often manifest themselves differently. The hyperactivity is less noticeable and they may face more attention problems.
In 1937, Charles Bradley, the medical director, noticed that a stimulant called Benzedrine caused some children to behave better. This medicine was approved by the FDA in 1936. But it took many years before doctors paid attention to Bradley's discovery.
Today, the treatment of ADHD in children is comprehensive and includes pedagogical correction, psychotherapeutic work, teaching parenting techniques for ADHD, developing the child's social interaction skills (behavioral therapy), and ADHD medication therapy (if needed).
How to Identify ADHD?
The symptoms of the disorder can appear before 4, for example, when a child starts going to kindergarten and cannot adapt, but more often symptoms become apparent in preschool or primary school age (5-7 years). The age of 8-10 years is the average age when the diagnosis becomes more definite due to difficult adaptation at school.
The main symptoms of ADHD:
- inattention;
- impulsivity;
- hyperactivity.
Symptoms of ADHD can vary significantly between children. Some children primarily exhibit symptoms of inattention, while others may display more pronounced hyperactivity or impulsivity. Many have a combination of these symptoms, with varying intensity and impact on daily functioning.
Symptoms of attention deficit:
- not paying attention to details;
- making careless mistakes;
- difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities;
- not completing tasks;
- unable to follow instructions;

Symptoms of hyperactivity involve excessive motor activity. Usually, a child cannot sit still for a long time, talks a lot, shouts out answers to questions that have not been completed, and is distracted constantly. Hyperactivity can also include an internal feeling of restlessness, anxiety, constant talking, interruptions, etc.

Impulsivity is explained as hasty actions that can have negative consequences. Impulsivity in children also includes difficulties with waiting for their turns or making better-informed decisions. It can be evident in class when a child shouts out the answer or stands up abruptly.

e.g. Children running across the street without looking around, or teenagers or adults who suddenly quit school or work without thinking about the consequences.
The consequences of ADHD are difficulty adapting to the team, the frequency of accidental injuries, conflict, and mood swings.
Concomitant (comorbid) conditions:
- learning disabilities;
- tic disorders;
- speech disorders;
- behavioral disorders;
- autism;
- anxiety and phobic disorders;
- depressive disorder.
These child's symptoms make it difficult to diagnose ADHD and they may be separate comorbidities. For some children, symptoms disappear as they grow up. However, many will have similar symptoms in adulthood.
Although some children's ADHD symptoms may decrease with age, many adults keep having trouble with attention, organization, and impulse control, which can affect their work, relationships, and other aspects of life.
Pitfalls Faced by a Child’s Family With ADHD
When ADHD parenting, it's vital to inform all family members about the peculiarities of the disorder and to develop a unified line of upbringing and response to certain children’s behaviors. Both parents and grandparents should realize that a child with ADHD requires a special approach.
Even if certain educational methods have worked well with other children, they may be entirely ineffective or inappropriate for a child with ADHD due to the unique challenges of the disorder. Therefore, in each specific case, depending on the disorder severity, and concomitant conditions, adults have to look for a new, sometimes quite different way of solving the problem.
Thus, the following main problems of parenting a child with ADHD can be emphasized:
- emotional exhaustion and physical fatigue,
- inability to keep negative emotions,
- feeling guilty because of their intemperance and failure to improve the situation,
- lack of confidence in their pedagogical abilities,
- expectation of criticism or misunderstanding from society (educators, teachers, parents, outside observers),
- difficulties in relationships between family members: siblings, parents and children, grandparents and grandchildren.
Successful forms of work with adults parenting a child with ADHD are personal consultation and specialized parental training.
Widespread Myths About ADHD
Below are some of the most common misconceptions about ADHD that people might still believe in.
- Myth1. ADHD can be controlled through discipline. Parents, teachers, and behavioral therapists should work together to help children manage ADHD. However, effective treatment and ADHD parenting tips can become a multifaceted approach that involves behavioral parent training, education, and support. Physical exercise can reduce the severity of ADHD symptoms, and interventions such as organizational learning, self-monitoring, and note-taking training can help students with ADHD learn to succeed in school.
- Myth 2. People with ADHD cannot focus their attention. While ADHD can make it difficult to function in structured learning environments, special interventions can be taken to help people improve their concentration.
However, it doesn't mean that adults with ADHD can never concentrate on anything. When the task is enjoyable, they focus quite well. Maybe sometimes they can even lose track of time and do an activity for hours. This phenomenon is called hyperfocus. It is an intense form of mental concentration or visualization that focuses a person's mind on an object, topic, or task.
e.g. People with ADHD can often focus on interesting or stimulating topics, so parents and teachers may find value in interactive and engaging activities.
- Myth 3. ADHD can be caused by poor nutrition. A poor diet does not cause ADHD. However, recent studies have found a link between symptom severity and an unhealthy diet, while a healthier diet may reduce ADHD symptoms. Research has not determined the ideal diet for people with ADHD, although preliminary evidence suggests that certain probiotics and vitamin D supplements may help.
- Myth 4. Childhood ADHD will develop into adult ADHD. ADHD symptoms often change or become less intense as children grow older. However, some people continue to experience ADHD into their teenage years and adulthood. ADHD is a form of neurodevelopmental disorder that cannot be cured. ADHD symptoms may be less noticeable in adulthood as people develop coping skills that make life easier.
As you can see, all of these myths have already been busted by doctors and scientists.
How ADHD Affects Family Life and Career in the Future
Let’s find out what challenges children with ADHD may face in adulthood.
- Study. People with ADHD often face problems at school and university. They may find it difficult to concentrate and sit still, which requires extra effort. They may also have problems managing time effectively or organizing their space and things. Students with ADHD have problems with distraction and are often helped by innovations such as individualized learning plans, structured environments, and constant feedback from teachers and parents. While not all children or adults with ADHD respond in the same way to these approaches, it is important to pick an individual approach, depending on the symptoms.
- Career. ADHD can make it difficult to participate in certain work environments, as problems with concentration, organization, and time management can affect work performance. People with ADHD often thrive in jobs that keep them engaged, stimulated, and mentally or physically active. Some people find that their peculiarities associated with ADHD can be valuable in certain contexts, such as entrepreneurship. Interesting tasks make us get together and focus, the monotonous activities on the contrary contribute to rapid fatigue and loss of concentration. Thus, when choosing a job, make sure that the activity takes into account the person’s personality abilities, character, emotions, etc.
- Personal life. ADHD can create problems in your personal life. Impulsivity, inattention, and forgetfulness can lead to misunderstandings and conflict. ADHD can also make people prone to interrupting, disrupting, or misinterpreting social cues, making communication difficult. Over time, this can undermine a child's self-esteem and emotional health and become a problem in adult life.
Following proper treatment, therapy, and parenting techniques for ADHD, this syndrome can be controlled and the child can learn to cope with some of the symptoms. ADHD often persists into adulthood if left untreated or undiagnosed, if the disorder goes untreated and undiagnosed, the long-term effects can lead to significant disruptions in daily life.
The consequences of ADHD include risks such as social isolation, decreased academic performance, inability to form strong bonds with others, increased risk-taking behavior, depression, likelihood of being involved in a car accident due to inattention, family breakdown, and related stress, propensity to commit crimes, risks of accidental injury, substance abuse, and antisocial personality disorder. Of course, the risks aren't necessary for all adults with ADHD, and many of them can manage their symptoms effectively if they have the right support.
Could ADHD Become an Advantage?
Holly A. White and Priti Shah of the University of Memphis studied the achievement of adults with diagnosed ADHD. In their study, they found that once out of the structured school system, ADHD becomes highly useful at work.
The thesis of their findings is as follows:
- People with ADHD may have different cognitive dynamics, which in certain conditions can contribute to creativity.
- Weak nervous system inhibition and unstable attention allow for greater success in work. The brains of people with ADHD need constant stimulation, working too long on one task becomes boring for them. They move from project to project, finding atypical ways to accomplish them. Switching focus can sometimes be helpful in multitasking or creative processes.
- The thinking of people with ADHD is non-linear. They can come up with solutions that others can’t even find.
- People with ADHD are more creative in both controlled experiments and life scenarios.
Although a child's ADHD can cause many difficulties for children when trying to fit into structured school or university routines, in adulthood, certain jobs are suitable for people with high energy and inattentiveness.
How Can Parents Help a Child With ADHD?
We’ve added ADHD parenting tips to help your child deal with impulsivity and make life easier for the family.
Plan your child's day
Children with ADHD find it easier to concentrate when they know what to expect. That's why child's school routines are so important to them. Make an individualized education plan or a schedule for your child, specifying what time they get ready for school, eat, do homework, walk, or play. If there are too many things to do, try combining 2 or 3 items into one.
e.g. ‘Do math and literature homework’ or ‘Put toys in the box and clothes in the closet.’
Put this schedule in a visible place and encourage your child to mark the completed tasks. It will make it easier for your child to keep their attention. Help them keep track of time, use a timer.
Schedules should be adapted to the child's needs. Not all children respond equally well to structured approaches, so when ADHD parenting, it is important to consider the child's reaction to the schedule and adjust it.
To spend less energy on planning, try streamlining the process. Consider whether there are days in the week when the routines overlap.
e.g. On Mondays and Thursdays, your child is at school until noon and goes to the pool at 3:00 pm. So, use the same schedule on those days.
Give clear instructions
An ADHD child has a harder time understanding what parents and teachers expect of them. General instructions like ‘clean your room’ don't work well for them.
That’s why giving your child as specific instructions as possible is among the vital ADHD parenting tips.
e.g. Don't ask them to clean up their bedroom or get ready for school. Say, ‘Put these things in your backpack: a pencil case, your notebooks, and English and math textbooks. Put clothes and sneakers for PE in a bag.’
Most likely, with this approach, it will be easier for your child to fulfil your request.
Remove distractions
Children with ADHD can't help but react to factors that normal people can easily handle. Thus, ADHD parenting may involve organizing a study space to make it easier for your child to complete homework.
You can put the desk in the middle of the room, away from windows and doors. Lock the pets in another room. Put away the phone, laptop, and tablet. Help your child get started by arranging notebooks, textbooks, and stationery on the desk. Plan together what is to be done: what paragraph to read or what exercise to do.
Consult a child psychologist
Psychotherapy is one of the effective methods of correcting a child's behavior, and it can become a good addition to the ADHD home remedy techniques. In a playful way, a specialist will find out what bothers the child, preventing them from performing everyday activities.
Look for a psychologist who specializes in your child’s problem. Usually, they consult the organizations that assist children with special developmental needs.
Moreover, a specialist can help with psychoeducation for parents, explaining the main aspects of ADHD and informing parents on how they can support their child in everyday life.
Come up with a reward system
A reward system creates motivation to get things done and helps balance a child's self-esteem — children with attention deficit disorder often feel like there's something wrong with them.
Pick 2 or 3 things your child needs to focus on during the month.
e.g. Putting toys in a box, or doing homework in the allotted time. It is best to choose activities that are repeated at different intervals.
Think of a reward for each successful action and child's good behavior. For daily activities, the rewards are small, such as cookies or watching cartoons for ten minutes longer than usual.
For weekly or monthly activities, the reward is more substantial, such as a new toy. Discuss with your child what they want to get.
Help your child eliminate nervous tension
Apart from study time, it's important to include time for rest and physical activity. They can help reduce impulsivity and increase concentration in a child with ADHD. Prolonged concentration without any breaks increases the child's anxiety level.
Sports help your child blow off energy in a healthy way, improve concentration, and reduce anxiety. Try to get your child more physical activity throughout the day. Find a playground or park close to home where your child can run or play safely.
Enroll your child in a sports program. Decide what they want to do. If it is hard for them to choose, discuss the options together.
Meditation techniques can also help a child better control anxiety and relax. Pick a set of ones that will suit your child and teach them how to practice.
Help develop attention and memory
Developing attention and memory will help your child cope with learning and control impulsivity. Enroll your child in neuro correction classes. A child with ADHD will do exercises under the specialist’s supervision. Eye rotations, arm and leg lifts, and rocking exercises develop control, associative connections, and spatial abilities. Speech and articulation exercises help to overcome learning difficulties.
Mind your child’s diet
Like other children, kids diagnosed with ADHD will greatly benefit from following general recommendations for healthy dieting. This way, their bodies will receive all the nutrients and vitamins necessary for normal and steady physical development, which would also positively impact mental health.
Parents of children with ADHD have to keep in mind that some of the hyperactive kids are deficient in fatty acids, which are essential for life. They may exhibit symptoms like constant thirst, dry hair and skin, and frequent urination. Asthma, eczema, or other forms of allergic reactions are often linked to fatty acids deficit, too.
In cases like this, it would be a good decision to get a medical consultation from a specialist to see if a child needs medications for improving their health.
Recap on Parenting a Child With ADHD
A child with ADHD can live a full-fledged life, but you need time and a lot of patience. Parents and loved ones should take active part in helping a child with ADHD — providing both practical help and emotional support. Psychologists recommend making some changes in the child's room — removing all unnecessary things and objects that can distract his attention during studying.
All activities and hobbies of the child should be actively supported — drawing, molding plasticine, embroidery, playing with cubes, etc. Parents should also conduct activities at home, which are recommended by the psychologist. These activities help in therapy and enhance the relationship between parents and children.
References
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- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). (2023, July 17). ADHD data and statistics. CDC. https://www.cdc.gov/adhd/data/index.html
- Wikipedia contributors. (2023, October 11). Alexander Crichton. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Crichton
- Wikipedia contributors. (2023, October 11). George Frederic Still. Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Frederic_Still
- Wikipedia contributors. (2023, October 11). Charles Bradley (medical doctor). Wikipedia. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Bradley_(medical_doctor)
- WebMD. (n.d.). ADHD history: Timeline of ADHD. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-history
- ScienceDirect. (n.d.). Benzedrine. In Neuroscience. https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/neuroscience/benzedrine#:~:text=Benzedrine%20is%20a%20pharmaceutical%20substance,enhancing%20effects%20among%20college%20students.
- Schmeichel, B. J., & Tangney, J. P. (2005). Individual differences in self-control and anger management: The role of implicit theories of self-control. Personality and Individual Differences, 39(4), 751–762. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2005.02.010
- Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust. (n.d.). ADHD and diet. Tees, Esk and Wear Valleys NHS Foundation Trust. https://www.tewv.nhs.uk/about-your-care/conditions/adhd/diet/
- WebMD. (n.d.). ADHD diets: Best foods for ADHD. WebMD. https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/adhd-diets