How to Support a Friend With Anxiety (Without Becoming Their Therapist)

It’s natural to want to help a friend struggling with anxiety disorder. In the end, what are friends for if not support and a safe space to be vulnerable? But here is a thing. In a quest to help your friend, you might inadvertently put your relationship at risk if you don’t set boundaries and forget to take care of your own mental health. 

So, here is how to offer understanding and encouragement without turning into one’s therapist and ruining the friendship. 

Let’s start with… 

… How anxiety shows up in one’s mind and body: Mental and physical symptoms

Anxiety disorders come with more complex symptoms than just pre-exam agitation or clammy hands before a big social event.

Here is what you should know about mental and physical signs that point to anxiety. 

Mental symptoms of anxiety disorders 

Mental telltale signs commonly include: 

• Persistent anxious thoughts that a person finds hard to switch off. They might replay a conversation all night, worrying they said the wrong thing;
• Negative thinking patterns. They imagine worst-case scenarios before even starting doing something;
• Feeling overwhelmed for no reason. They might avoid simple tasks like paying bills or sending an email because it ‘feels too much’;
• Intense fear of failure, judgment, or rejection (often accompanies social anxiety). For instance, they might avoid parties because they’re afraid that people will make offensive remarks about them;
• Feeling constantly worried, even about small tasks or decisions. For example, they might excessively worry about their wardrobe choice or which route to take to the office.

Physical symptoms of anxiety 

Physical sensations your friend might experience during stressful situations, social anxiety episodes, or a panic attack might often include: 

• Racing heartbeat
• Excessive sweating
• Dizziness
• Muscle tension
• Restlessness
• Upset stomach or nausea
• Shaking or trembling

Now when you know how to recognize anxiety, let’s find out how you can help your anxious friend cope with it.

How to support someone with anxiety disorder: Practical daily strategies 

Don’t expect to ‘fix’ your anxious friend. People think of anxiety as a malady with a remedy, but oftentimes, anxiety is one’s invisible companion that requires ongoing management with therapy (and sometimes medication) rather than a one-time cure. 

So, yes, all you can do is offer a sympathetic ear, a few coping strategies, and some daily help, as long as you’re able to take care of yourself too. 

1: Listen with empathy and don’t judge

An anxious person might feel isolated and misunderstood. They might be reluctant to talk about their thoughts and feelings (again, because they have too many fears, and one of them is the fear of being judged). So, you’ll really have to listen attentively, validate their emotions and experiences, and avoid making sarcastic comments. 

A few unwritten rules to remember: 

• Use phrases like “I hear you” or “That sounds tough” to make your loved one seen and understood;
• Avoid negative language or minimizing statements like “just relax.” Believe us, they would’ve relaxed if they could;
• Remind them of the previous successes and reassure them with phrases like “You’ve gotten through hard moments before.” Here, you don’t dismiss their worry but you stay real at the same time. 

Studies show that support from family and close people lowers stress, which then leads to less anxiety and depression. So, ask about their day (your conversations don’t have to revolve only around their anxiety), their life, or simply spend time together. In the end, it’s your presence and empathy that matter.

2: Help your friend identify their anxiety triggers 

In other words, learn more about the monster you’re fighting 😉.

Triggers are events, people, and environments that cause the feeling of anxiety in a person. These might be social situations (especially in case of social anxiety), specific places like shopping malls or offices, people (one’s boss, ex-partner, etc.), animals (for instance, seeing a spider makes one’s anxiety worse in case of arachnophobia), and others. 

In fact, everything depends on the type of anxiety your loved one is dealing with. According to the World Health Organization, here are core types of anxiety disorders: 

• Social anxiety. The fear of being judged, embarrassed, or humiliated during social interactions;
• Panic disorder. Someone with anxiety might have unexpected panic attacks, sudden episodes of intense fear, accompanied by severe physical reactions like a racing heart, excessive sweating, and shortness of breath;
• Generalized anxiety — feeling anxious about all aspects in life, such as work, school, health, or family. The worry is constant, excessive, and difficult to control;
• Separation anxiety disorder — an excessive fear of being away from a person one is attached to, like a parent or a close family member.
• Different phobias. Phobia is an extreme and irrational fear of a specific thing or situation, such as arachnophobia, claustrophobia, agoraphobia, etc.

📓 Your friend can journal their triggers and moods or even enroll in short anxiety management courses — both can be done with a mental health app like Liven, a compassionate self-discovery companion that lives right inside your phone. 

When your friend begins to recognize the triggers, it gets way easier to respond with healthier coping techniques that we’re going to discuss a little bit later. 

3: Offer practical assistance 

… but only if you have the emotional capacity to do so. Remember, you can't pour from an empty cup. 🤔

Your role isn’t to diagnose or provide treatment, but to be a helpful partner that encourages reflection and patience. 

For instance, you can assist with daily chores. If social anxiety makes grocery shopping overwhelming, offer to go together to the supermarket. Is your friend too scared of a treatment appointment? Offer to drive them to the hospital and simply sit with them in the waiting room until the doctor calls them in.

Other things include: 

• Make phone calls or handle paperwork when significant anxiety makes it impossible for your loved one to focus;
• Cooking or ordering a meal when they’re feeling anxious and exhausted;
• Sit quietly with them when physical symptoms like trembling appear;
• Help them prepare for social situations, like practicing what to talk about during their presentation at work;
• Encourage them to express their feelings at the end of a bad day.

These small actions definitely strengthen relationships and help your friend in their recovery, showing that life is still a manageable thing. 

4: Choose and learn coping strategies together

The right coping approaches bring calm to the present moment and add to the long-term recovery. Below are the most effective strategies to encourage your friend to try. 

1. ‘Name it to tame it’ exercise

This one has really simple instructions: one just names their fears, the emotions they’re causing, and rationally explains all of the above. For example, if your friend’s anxiety spikes in social situations, simply saying, “This is social anxiety, it’s not forever. No one is going to judge me because people focus on themselves and their lives most of the time” can give them a sense of control.

Naming emotions also helps them stay present, especially when combined with deep breathing, instead of falling into rumination. 

🌿 You can also ask your friend to perform the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise to stay grounded: name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel or touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste.

2. Mindfulness practices 

Meditation, deep breathing, and progressive muscle relaxation are all techniques that over time, calm down your amygdala, the brain’s threat center. They also improve the connection between your amygdala and the prefrontal cortex area (the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and emotional regulation), meaning that over time, you start managing emotional responses better. 

Here is evidence. One study found that a 12-week mindfulness meditation practice led to a reduction in stress, anxiety, and depression symptoms, as well as improved sleep and life satisfaction among students.

Another study found that breathing exercises and social support helped students feel more in control during exams (though they weren’t very strong on their own). Interestingly, the same study shows that students with moderate anxiety actually performed better on exams than those with very low or very high anxiety. So, yes, sometimes anxiety is helpful, but only when it's in very small, controlled amounts 😉.

3: Self-care rituals when feeling anxious

Self-care rituals directly reduce stress hormones and promote a state of calm. They slow down one’s heart rate, lower blood pressure, and trigger the release of endorphins, your body's natural painkillers and mood elevators.

Here are some great self-care practices that add balance to our lives. 

• Journaling helps anxious individuals get things off their mind;
• Creative hobbies like painting or cooking soothe one’s nervous system;
• Warm baths or showers relax muscles;
• Exercising boosts endorphins and reduces cortisol. Plus, studies show that social support, when combined with exercise, helps to reduce anxiety even more;
• Calming bedtime rituals (reading, herbal tea, or quiet music) improve sleep quality. 

4: Negative thought reframing 

It’s natural for someone with anxiety to get stuck in negative thought patterns. The key is to recognize those negative thoughts and try to substitute them with healthier and more balanced ones. 

For instance, instead of thinking “I always mess things up,” your friend can reframe it like “Mistakes happen all the time because that’s how people learn.” 

Or let’s say your anxious friend goes to a party. Instead of thinking “If I go to this party, everyone will judge me,” they can say “Feeling anxious in this situation is okay. Anyway, most people will focus on themselves, not me, which means I don't have to worry.”

5: Therapy 

For many people, therapy is the most effective treatment for anxiety, especially when coupled with medication. A trained professional can help a person uncover underlying causes of their anxiety, such as childhood trauma, perfectionism, or even struggles connected to eating disorders, and, in the process, suggest healthier coping skills.

Sure, friends, a loved one, or a family member can offer care and support, but it’s a licensed therapist who guides one towards lasting recovery. 

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Don’t forget about your own needs and mental health 

Yes, it might feel heavy to support someone when you’re dealing with your own anxiety at the same time. And it’s perfectly normal to feel helpless and think that none of the strategies works the way you expect them to.

Here are mistakes to avoid if you want to make a significant difference and not ruin your friendship:

• Don’t step into the role of therapist unless your friend has explicitly asked for some guidance. Encourage real treatment instead;
• Don’t forget your own boundaries. Go for a walk, practice self-care, or reach out to your own support system when you need to recharge;
• Encourage them, respond with compassion, but don’t forget to protect your own well-being.
   

Final thoughts 

Your presence reminds your friend that they’re not alone on the road to recovery. Even simple moments, like talking through their feelings or sitting quietly together, can be incredibly helpful. 

There is a good chance your friend will need professional treatment, and it’s important that your steady encouragement shows that what they’re dealing with is normal. 

So, listen with empathy when challenges happen and don’t judge.

You’ve got this!

References 

Alvarado-García, P. A. A. et al. (2025). Effect of a mindfulness program on stress, anxiety, depression, sleep quality, social support, and life satisfaction: A quasi-experimental study in college students. Frontiers in Psychology, 16, 1508934. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2025.1508934 

Acoba, E. F. (2024). Social support and mental health: The mediating role of perceived stress. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1330720. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1330720 

Ortega-Donaire, L. et al. (2023). Effectiveness of guided breathing and social support for the reduction of pre-exam anxiety in university students: A factorial study. Healthcare, 11(4), 574. https://doi.org/10.3390/healthcare11040574

World Health Organization. (2023, September). Anxiety disorders. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/anxiety-disorders 

Yang, L., Wang, N., Li, D., et al. (2025). Social support and anxiety: A moderated mediating model. Scientific Reports, 15, 29390. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41598-025-14336-x