The Science Behind Emotion Regulation: How Your Brain Controls Emotions

Our emotions make our lives worth living, whether in the coldest place on the planet or in a large metropolitan area. That’s the hard reality: without our feelings, we would have perceived the world in a much different way. They are more than just a human brain function: they make us fun, laugh, cry, and do silly things. They are a result of a complex interaction of the brain, nervous system, and body. They are what we view as the heart of us. 

But what of sadness, you’ll say, the anger, the frustration, the resentment, or fear? Are they important? Are they worth it all? The short answer is yes. We can’t experience the richness of the world around us if we don’t face it completely. They are just a part of that complicated human brain of ours, and there's no emotional development without accepting it all. Our nervous system works with the entire range of our emotional responses.

However, it’s true that too intense emotions and an inability to deal with them can disrupt our daily routine, weaken our immune system, complicate our decision-making, and even cause physical changes in our body. Sure, that's a hyperbolized scenario, but it, essentially, makes us helpless in front of the next steps. That’s why learning emotion regulation strategies is a skill that can benefit you in any area, whether it’s close relationships or job environments. We master emotional intelligence and self-care. Even more than that, when emotions rule our minds, we become vulnerable, and our mental health suffers greatly. But if we handle each feeling mindfully, we train our emotional resilience.

In this article, we will talk about the role of emotion regulation in our well-being, how it is linked to our nervous system and brain function, what the neuroscience research says about mental health, and how to master emotion regulation strategies.

Brain Science: Emotional Regulation’s Role in Building Resilience

Emotion regulation isn’t some Captain America standing between you and the world in front of you — nope, it’s more like a veil around you that makes you flexible and prepared for the stressors ahead. That’s why it is so strongly connected to resilience, which is all about learning, trying, failing, improving, and continuing to move forward. But they aren’t separate entities, not entirely, at least. Neuroscience research suggests that emotion regulation, once mastered, transforms how a human brain responds to challenges and helps us build our emotional awareness.

Let’s take a look at two hypothetical situations where individuals' nervous systems and emotional regulation worked differently.

In the first, person A has poor emotion regulation coping skills. They are hurrying to their job, but the traffic is a nightmare, and they are stuck. So now, anxious and with bosses calling, they go into a system overload and stop trying altogether. They might cry or yell — or just sit in their car, worried sick. They become blind to the world around them and focus only on this painful moment. 

In the second, person B is also stuck in traffic, but they don’t let their emotions overwhelm them. They try to make their brain function more objectively. After a short surge of stress, they reach out to their boss and explain the situation. They explain what they are doing to rectify it. Once they are done, they try to find an alternative route or even park a few blocks away and decide to take a stroll.

The situations are identical, but the approaches are different. Neuroscience research shows that, quite often, even people with similar brain structures or capacities can respond differently if they have different emotional reactivity rooted in strategies they have learned. Sure, person B didn’t save the day just by being more adaptable, but they moved ahead. That’s how it works: you can’t change everything around you, but you can change how you act around it with emotion regulation.

People with stronger emotion regulation view the setbacks and barriers as temporary. They are objective and — you guessed it — resilient. They acknowledge the events around them but maintain their perspective. During conflicts, they utilize emotional intelligence to understand the opposing side. Over time, they learn to trust themselves more and grow more confident as the barriers don’t stop them from trying. 

The Connection Between Emotional Regulation and Anxiety/Depression

Unsurprisingly, when we struggle with handling our feelings, the negative aftermath of every painful experience starts to build up in our minds. Brain research argues that so-called negative emotions (there aren't really bad or good emotions!) can fuel disorders like anxiety and depression when we cannot regulate them properly. Let’s explore the link between emotion regulation and anxiety or depression.

The Science of Emotional Regulation

Emotion regulation is an ability inherently linked to different human brain regions. A crucial part of our brain development manifests in human behavior and handling complex physical AND mental threats or challenges. The neural correlates involved in emotion regulation are the prefrontal cortex (PFC), amygdala, hippocampus, cerebral cortex, particularly the anterior cingulate cortex (ACC), and insula. Without overcomplicating it, let’s briefly explore how each of these affects your emotions, according to neuroscience research.

The PFC plays a crucial role in our ability to perform executive functions, including impulse control and emotion regulation. In the scenarios above, it’s one of the sections that probably got activated when person B tried to find the solutions. 

In turn, the amygdala detects the emotional stimuli and instills specific responses in us (for example, the fight or flight response). It’s a quick and automatic instrument that boosts our bodies to act once (e.g., when you get scared, it sends your body a signal to spring into action). 

Our cerebral cortex is responsible for complex cognitive functions (language, self-awareness, perception, and reasoning). In the context of emotional regulation, the cerebral cortex — especially regions like the prefrontal cortex and anterior cingulate cortex — is the middleman between our feelings and cognition, helping us navigate and regulate between the two and remain self-aware of the situation. For instance, if you want to spend money on a new pair of fabulous shoes you don’t really need, you might conflict with the long-term goal of saving money for something else. And your cerebral cortex is the bridge connecting these two. Plus, it affects how consciously we are perceiving emotions. 

Now, what does the hippocampus do? It plays a critical role in our memory, but, more importantly, in contextualizing our emotional experiences. For instance, if we feel threatened, the hippocampus helps us distinguish between real and perceived threats. 

If people struggle with emotion regulation and regularly feel out of balance with their feelings, this can impair human brain functioning. People with depression and anxiety often have a hyperactive amygdala (which is associated with threat hypersensitivity), a hypoactive PFC (associated with a reduced cognitive control over emotions), and a weaker functional connectivity between the PFC and the amygdala. Brain research shows that the imbalance of the human brain and how we handle our feelings are connected, and learning to regulate ourselves can help prevent depression, anxiety, and other mental health disorders. 

How Our Ability to Manage Emotions Protects Us

Emotion regulation is one of the most effective preventive factors (or skills) when it comes to depression and anxiety. Even in children, it supports healthy brain development and the nervous system. Self-regulation facilitates our long-term well-being and psychological health. Neuroscience research has found that the relationship between emotion regulation and lifestyle behaviors is bidirectional — our mental health influences our ability to maintain healthy habits, and engaging in health-promoting behaviors supports better emotional functioning. 

Weak emotion regulation can stop us from making changes even if we are motivated. It is a transdiagnostic mechanism, which means it underlies a wide range of mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and others. It can impair our brain function and the nervous system as a whole.

Emotion regulation is a great preventative skill that can be used before we develop the first anxiety and/or depression signs. Due to it, we learn to make lifestyle changes by resisting our impulses, setting and achieving goals, and coping with potential barriers. The self-regulatory processes of the human brain contribute to long-term health benefits that help us prevent or address mental health deterioration. 

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Key Emotion Regulation Strategies for Better Mental Health

We can achieve emotion regulation by learning how to manage stress and master cognitive control over our needs. Some focus on self-improvement, emotional intelligence, and behavioral changes, while others may require professional assistance. Choosing the right path depends on our level of mastery over our emotions in stressful situations, our current mental health status, and our current resources. 

Mindfulness: From Being Overwhelmed to Being in the Moment

Mindfulness is one of the most effective emotion regulation strategies we can use every day. You have probably heard of this concept before: it’s all about self-awareness and being in the present moment. Here’s how it works through the lens of two different individuals. 

After an argument with a partner, person A is constantly overwhelmed by what was said and can’t focus on anything else. They feel angry and struggle with self-control and emotion regulation. Even hours later, they are still stressed and hurt, which gradually increases their anxiety level and makes decision-making about conflict resolution difficult.

And here’s another approach: 

After an argument with a partner, person B feels frustrated but knows how to practice self-regulation. They remind themselves that no matter what, they love their partner and they will find a way to discuss things with them in a healthier manner. Even if they feel angry by the end of the day, they have been able to practice emotion regulation strategies, process their emotional responses, and keep emotional intelligence in mind when predicting future conflict resolution.

Mindfulness can be achieved through techniques such as breathing or grounding. 

Breath awareness. This activity can help you calm down after a stressful event; some even claim that it positively affects brain function and neural mechanisms. Start by sitting or lying down in a quiet place. Bring attention to your breathing. Quietly observe how the air flows through your body, how it moves with inhalation and exhalation. Instead of focusing on just one part of your body or your emotions, imagine yourself as part of something bigger - the air flowing in and out of your nostrils and mouth, returning to the world. If your mind wanders, which is totally OK, just gently drift back to your body. Do this for as long as you might need or want. 

Mindful stroll. Let’s do something else — why not move our bodies when our minds need a gentle break? If you can, go for a walk outdoors because being outside can stabilize your emotional state, balance your blood pressure, and regain cognitive control over the situation. If not, walk in the gym or even the shopping center. As you walk, focus your attention on the sensation of your feet touching the ground, the rhythm of your steps, or the feeling of the breeze on your skin. Importantly, don’t play the music as you do so; it’s not that type of walk. Here, you would want to be present and aware of what is happening around and to you. Again, when your thoughts scatter around, slowly bring them back to your sensations. Movement is an outstanding emotion regulation strategy.

Emotional Work

Contrary to what many might think, we can treat our emotions with emotional intelligence and respond appropriately to all of them, whether it's anger or joy. Not just react and hope they won’t stifle us along the way. These two emotion regulation strategies can help you experience your emotions in a healthier, more productive way. 

Accepting the emotion. This emotion regulation activity is exactly what it sounds like: not stifling the feeling, not hiding from it, but acknowledging and taking it in. If you are in a moment that makes you uncomfortable, pause and take a deep breath. Don’t worry: it will not make you spill with overwhelm. Instead, it will help you understand what you experience and act more thoughtfully. 

After the breathing, quietly try to name the emotion. Think to yourself, “This is what I am feeling right now.” Accept that this emotion is present in your body right now. Try to sit with it for at least a minute. If you can, stretch it to three or four. Breathe into this sensation and allow yourself to feel it. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it is because our feelings are most intense when ignored. Cognitive sciences claim that once an emotion is acknowledged, it loses its power over you.

Writing about the emotion. Think of it as letting it all spill outside without actually hurting anyone. Some people love journaling about what they feel, no filter there. Another emotion regulation way to go through your feelings is to write a letter — to a person, an event, or the world itself. It’s particularly good if you want to express something that will probably not be quite nice, or simply inappropriate (like talking back to your professor who keeps making your life difficult). Don’t send that letter! But knowing that you’re addressing your feelings to the potential recipient is a great way to manage emotions and vent.

How Emotion Regulation Can Improve Self-Esteem and Self-Awareness

Learning a skill of emotion regulation has even more long-term benefits than you might think; view it as a cool boost to your brain development. Here are some ways it can help you boost your self-confidence, social cognition, and become more in tune with yourself. 

• More reflective and less reactive. We often don’t notice how many of our daily choices depend on spur-of-the-moment emotions. Once we develop emotion regulation, we start asking ourselves, “Why am I feeling this way? Why do I want to do this and not that?” We grow less impulsive and make choices that benefit us.
• Self-trust in difficult situations. Each time we regulate a strong emotion, we have more faith in our ability to handle things in the future. We finally develop the confidence in our ability to face other feelings, even the ones we were scared of before.
• Reduced self-judgment and shame. We often feel ashamed of our emotions; our developing brain might have learned this during childhood. We are taught to feel that way, as if there are some “good” or “bad” feelings, which isn’t true. But with emotion regulation, we grow more self-compassionate and accept ourselves. Plus, we learn to see the world more objectively.
• Better self-insights. Emotion regulation can’t work without greater awareness of why we feel a certain way about events, places, or people. As you master it, you start to understand and notice your behavioral patterns, decision-making, and strong/weak spots. You know when you feel pressured or, instead, relieved, and it makes you more informed about choices that will be most effective. You have an increasing interest in how our brain works, what brings us chronic stress, and how to achieve an even better emotional development.
• More stable sense of identity. Our emotions can make us not the best versions of ourselves, and we may act or think on impulse and regret it later. When we balance ourselves, our values shine through even in stressful situations, and we finally behave as we want to, in line with our vision of ourselves. Plus, we get a better vision of who we are without the pressure of intense feelings.
• More connected relationships. Emotion regulation helps you communicate better, empathize more (hey, emotional intelligence!), and manage conflict without losing your sense of self. You will trust others more, and the greater security will boost and stabilize even relatively distant connections. 

Conclusion: Strengthening Your Mind With Emotion Regulation

Learning how to manage emotions is one of the most rewarding but challenging quests one can take in one’s life. It’s a road that calls to us, no matter how far we are from the endpoint. In a way, it’s a journey that never ends: we face new challenges and encounter new sides of ourselves that the world slowly uncovers. Because self-discovery is a process, and what is learning our feelings if not an exploration? 

Some of the tips we’ve listed here might be ideal while others won’t work for you; it’s fine. Emotional intelligence in all of its forms is a complex thing. Don’t give up after just one time; give them a try, more than one. You will learn how to manage emotions and prevent chronic stress by tapping into your own world. Find the tools that you like and treat this process as just a first adventure of sorts. That’s why our inner worlds are so beautiful: they are different, sometimes unpredictable, but always memorable. And diving into this ocean is a gift to ourselves.